Available in Print and eBook formats for: Kindle, KOBO, B&N, and iPad
Twisted Knickers Publications (February 14, 2018)
Paperback 103 pages Copyright © 2016.
RTA Mature Content — Reader discretion advised
ISBN-13: 978-0-9910027-4-0
Fiction » Humor & comedy » Satire, Fiction » Literature » Literary

Sexual Orientation, a Discussion

The Sexual Identity Crisis

This Vagina Mine

Book Description: Just A Girl. Just A Guy. Just a Bench.

A bench on a street, but this isn’t the story of a bench. It’s the story of a Girl. A Girl who didn’t know how to girl.

Endearingly nerdy, sharp, funny, and a bit of a tomboy badass, Girl is not a prude. Not shy or timid. She loves horror movies and literature and dirty jokes. She looks good in flannel, she’s 26, and she’s into crushes. Romantic crushes where she can dream about holding hands or talking for hours on a hill, in the quiet and stillness of the starlight. Anything more than hand­holding seems weird to her. Other kids in College made her feel like a freak, and she began to worry that there was something wrong with her.

In a society of pouty lips, big breasts, and stiletto heels, she was becoming invisible, until her best friend started dating Mathilda.

This is a story about a Girl, about a Guy she knows, and a bench upon which they were sat. Our Girl has never been good at radical thoughts, and she usually gets what she deserves when she has them. This is the story about those thoughts. Thoughts on how to NOT have sex, Not eat noodles, and other comedic life, love, and dating nonsense from a Girl who was brave enough to challenge what it means to be a girl.

Attraction is more fluid than it seems. It’s a new kind of sexual revolution, and through fits and fumbles, our Girl finally discovers that love is what you make of it.

Read Chapter 1


“Touching, funny, grittily true, and sweet. A refreshing and unique exploration of romantic love.” – Kristen Tsetsi, Author of The Age of the Child and The Year of Dan Palace.

“A psychological observation of modern day romance in a bare, raw sense. Thank goodness for Cheryl Anne Gardner, giving us real romance to read as an alternative to Harlequin hell.” Amazon Review, Breeni Books

“This novella is beautifully ambiguous, in a way that gives it a universal appeal. Through Girl’s inner monologue, Gardner explores societal norms, issues, and expectations surrounding relationships. It explores the complicated nature of women, of sex, relationships, and of friendship. In a way, it is a mirror aimed at ourselves – one that shows that we do not have to lose a part of who we are just because it is expected.” Amazon Review, Henry Martin, Author of The Mad Days of Me

“One of the most irreverently introspective narrators I’ve come across in quite a while. […] a young woman with her own specific angst plus an unflagging imagination and delivery. Amazon Review, Susan Tepper, Author of Monte Carlo Days and Nights

“Experimental, avant-garde, intelligent… whatever you choose to call it… this book is smoothly written and designed to make you think. Maybe to feel and laugh a little, albeit uncomfortably. It reminds me of some of the original poetry that was recited in a cozy little coffee house in Georgetown back in the sixties.” Amazon Review

“I’d forgotten how satisfying a happy ending can be. Maybe because happy endings so often feel contrived, devised. But not here. This one has real people walking — and feeling and thinking — all over its pages, so when the end comes, it doesn’t actually feel like one. it feels like it so often does in real life, like the beginning of something new.” Goodreads Review

“[…] there is a story here, and it’s actually a very romantic one in a raw, down to earth way. Matt is quite a dreamy hero, if you ask me, although I suspect that it isn’t the author’s intention to make him that way, heh. Knowing Joe works like a charm – the author has this apparently effortless knack to draw me right into her characters’ heads and get me to understand what they feel and what makes them tick, even if I personally don’t relate to these characters much. This is a fine kind of vicarious head trip, and the deceptively rambling narrative is actually tightly constructed to enhance the whole “Wow, I’m really inside that woman’s head… and you know, it’s actually quite a nice place to be!” feel of the novella. Remarkably, the author does all this without making the whole story feel pretentious or deliberately opaque. The author doesn’t dabble in the romance genre, and I suspect she doesn’t want to be, but after reading Knowing Joe, I suspect that she can easily serve up some sweet romantic stories on a good day. After all, this one is one of the cutest, quirkiest, and sweetest romantic tales I’ve read in a while.” MrsGiggles.com

“Interesting experimental stream-of-consciousness blend of hipster slice-of-life/satire that strikes me as a probably accurate portrayal of not-quite-thirtysomething life in the city in this age of social media and instant communication. Do not skip the flash fiction at the end, at least some of which ties back into the story from the perspective of tangential characters in a way that I found oddly satisfying.” Amazon Review